Real Talk with Sofia Clarke Episode 1, Special Guest: Astraea Jordan
(A dimly lit room is showcased as a spotlight is centered on Sofia Clarke.)
SOFIA CLARKE: Welcome everyone to first ever edition of REAL TALK with yours truly, Sofia Clarke. REAL TALK is a place where YOUR favorite REVOLT wrestler will come and answer fans questions in a completely raw, unfiltered manner. To kick things off, our first guest is none other than one of the most iconic figures in sports entertainment today… the legendary, the classic, REVOLT’S newest Freeweight… Astraea Jordan!
(The camera’s focus on Astraea who is sitting across of Sofia wearing a black, skin-tight dress with red louboutin heels paired with a stunning cherry red matte lip. Astraea gives a faint smile as she shakes Sofia’s hand.)
ASTRAEA JORDAN: I liked that lil intro, girl! Go awf! Thanks for having me, glad to be here as the VERY FIRST guest.
SOFIA CLARKE: It truly is an honor! So everyone watching at home: if YOU want to ask Astraea a question, please call the number 1800-738-6581 (1800-REVOLT1) and maybe you’ll be the lucky guy or gal that’ll get their question answered live on air! Astraea, is there anything you’d like to mention before we start?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: I think I’m ready for the questions!
SOFIA CLARKE: Alright, let’s get this started!
(A man wearing a headset walks over to Sofia and hands her a landline home phone with a white line cord attached at the bottom. Sofia looks puzzled but touches the speaker button regardless.)
SOFIA CLARKE: Ooookay, we are taking your questions now!
(The phone begins to ring as both Sofia and Astraea look excited. Sofia pushes a button as a male answers.)
SOFIA CLARKE: Hello?
SOFIA CLARKE: Oh, hi! You are the first ever caller for REAL TALK!
Man: Yo, can Astraea open her legs a bit more I’m tryna get my jack off session do–
(Sofia immediately hangs up as Astraea pulls down her dress and crosses her legs.)
SOFIA CLARKE: *Pushes the button* You’re LIVE with Sofia and Astraea!
Woman: Hello, my name is Rachel from New Jersey. I’m a huge fan!
ASTREA JORDAN: Hi, Rachel! What’s up?
RACHEL: Astraea, now I gotta tell you girl – Your merch is OFF THE HOOK. I be wearin’ the Astraea better shirt that I purchased at *BLEEP* house show back in December and MAN! I get compliments ALL THE DAMN TIME. Now girl, who designs your merch?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: Now that I cannot disclose but just know he’s the best around, sis. Astraea better, Astraea merch better.
SOFIA CLARKE: Remember guys if you’re watching live please tweet #ASTRAEABETTER and maybe your tweet will get featured tonight as well!
ASTRAEA JORDAN: Yes, keep ‘em comin’! Thank you for supporting me and calling in, Rachel!
RACHEL: iight girl I love you SHOUT OUT TO MY BABY DADDY MICHAEL I LOVE YOU BOO —
SOFIA CLARKE: *chuckles as she hangs up* Alright, thanks. Hello? YOU ARE ON LIVE!
ASTRAEA JORDAN: Aye.
Man: First of all… you single?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: You tryna shoot your shot right here, right now, bruh?
Man: Come on girl, my names Jeremi and all I gotta ask is; what does Astraea look for in a man?… or a woman?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: I think in any person, you just want someone you can really connect with. Somebody you’re on the same level with emotionally and stuff, you know? I need someone I can be my entire self around, not having to hide anything or tone it down, which is probably why it’s taken me so long to get to where I’m at now relationship wise – I’m one of a kind, you know what I’m sayin’? I need somebody just as hardworking and motivated as myself as well, which I think I’ve found..and I’m really happy about it. Just know that, sis.
Jeremi: Can I ask one more question?
SOFIA CLARKE: Sure thing!
Jeremi: What appeals you the most about REVOLT?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: I’ve been around quite a few different companies trying new things and trying to get a feel for where I’m most comfortable and meeting people I’d be competing against..and I feel REVOLT is the only place Astraea can be..Astraea and that’s why I’m here now. I’ve only been in contact with those behind the scenes for a short while but they’ve already made me feel at home. Can you blame them though? I obviously had some traction behind my name since as soon as my signing was announced, I damn near shut that website down! The traffic, sis! But yes, I’m glad to be here and excited for whatever the future holds. I’m def gonna get my due here.
Jeremi: That’s pretty dope. Any words that Ms. Astraea Jordan lives by?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: Oh that’s simple..Astraea better!
Jeremi: Aye before they get me off make sure to check out my soundcloud vodkadaddy69 —
SOFIA CLARKE: *hangs up* Thanks Jeremi. HELLOOO YOU ARE LIVE ON AIR!
Woman: Alright, I’m gonna be real honest with you –
ASTRAEA JORDAN: What, sis?
Woman: I think all this Astraea hype is BOGUS.
ASTRAEA JORDAN: *Laughs* You serious, right now?
Woman: You heard me! All these media sites like TMZ reporting on your “ground breaking” contract with REVOLT is such a waste of time!
ASTRAEA JORDAN: SIS, I BROKE THE DAMN INTERNET, FUCK YOU MEAN? I BROUGHT MORE VIEWS TO TMZ AND ALL THOSE OTHER SITES THAN ANYBODY ELSE, MORE VIEWS TO REVOLT’S SITE, TWITTER WAS BLOWIN UP, MY DMS WERE JUMPIN. IF YOU DON’T GET ON THIS BANDWAGON NOW, IT’S GONNA LEAVE YOUR ASS, SIS! ONLY REASON YOU DON’T SEE WHAT OTHERS SEE IS BECAUSE YOU’RE BLINDED BY THOSE SNAKES! GET OUT THE JUNGLE, SIS! COME AT ME CORRECTLY!
Woman: I’m DONE with all this cocky attitude of yours. Answer this CUM BUCKET, why is Sienna Jade going to demolish you in the future?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: I’m done with you too, honestly. But lemme calm down. I know you prolly got a Sienna shrine in your room. Lemme not hurt feelings right now. But you’re part of the hype sis, just calling in right now. So thanks for contributing!
Woman: YEAH, I’m a Sienna Jade-ster! TEAM RAW SIENNA ALL THE WAY!
ASTRAEA JORDAN: She’s good, I can’t front..BUT ASTRAEA BETTER! You can scream otherwise till you’re blue in the face but it don’t make you right, sis. I hope you have this same energy if I ever see you in person.
Woman: LET’S SQUARE UP!
SOFIA CLARKE: OKAY! Enough of that – caller! You’re on!
Woman: Yikes, that was an angry previous caller haha.
SOFIA CLARKE: Please bless us with your name and area aaand possibly good questions.
Woman: The names Lillian from Washington DC.
ASTRAEA JORDAN: Sup, Lillian? Hopefully, you have something nicer in store for me.
Lilian: Everyone knows that you are a beast in the ring! But if you could wrestle a wrestler from years past, who would it be and why?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: A great question. Honestly, I’d have to say Kendra Shamez. I don’t know what sis is up to these days but that’s one of the GOATs right there.
Lillian: Now that’s what I’m talking about! I would pay MONEY to see that matchup. What are some of your inspirations in and outside of the ring?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: My inspirations – people wise – definitely include my mentors Mr. DEDEDE and CM Bank$. Without them I wouldn’t be here right now and I wouldn’t be the force I am today.
SOFIA CLARKE: Thanks so much, Lillian! Alright, we’re gonna give Astraea a little break as I head over to our social media portion of this show.
(Sofia lifts up an iPad and shows the camera thousands of tweets with the #ASTRAEABETTER attached.)
SOFIA CLARKE: Alright what to choose first! I’m going to close my eyes and lay my finger on a random tweet!
(Sofia closes her eyes and scrolls through the feed and suddenly stops.)
SOFIA CLARKE: Alright! Here’s one: from @DevinKevistation… who is your favorite rapper right now? BTW looking hella cute in that dress. #ASTRAEABETTER
ASTRAEA JORDAN: Thanks, boo. My favorite rapper right now? Hmm, I gotta say Lil Uzi Vert. Not the best lyrically or anything, but the dude is fun and really just doesn’t give a damn. He’s himself and I respect that.
SOFIA CLARKE: Remember ladies and gents if you want your tweet to be featured use #ASTRAEABETTER and you may be one of the lucky folks to get featured. We’ll be right back after a word from our sponsors!
(COMMERCIAL: Use code #AstraeaBetter and get 50% off of your next REVOLT merch purchase. Only valid for tonight!)
(REAL TALK comes back on air as Astraea and Sofia are in midst of a conversation. They then stop and focus on the camera.)
SOFIA CLARKE: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen! Let’s jump right in to our next caller!
Woman: Heeeey Sowfeeuh I love your talk show!
SOFIA CLARKE: Oh my, thank you! What’s your question?
Woman: Okay, first – My name is Shawnee from Elmhurst, Chicago.
ASTRAEA JORDAN: CHICAGOOOOOOOO! WHAT’S GOOD?
Shawnee: Yeah girl! Chicago natives for life! How was it growing up in Chiraq?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: Honestly, rough. You know, I didn’t grow up very rich or anything so we didn’t exactly have the best living conditions and sometimes it was scary to just step outside but looking back, if I was raised differently, I wouldn’t be the same so I actually kinda cherish that. And I love my city, it’s why I didn’t move away even when I could’ve. Even with all the negatives, there’s a lot of positives. I think some people on the “outside” fail to realize that.
Shawnee: I definitely had some similar experience, Uhstreeyuh. How do you feel knowing that you have such a large following? What advice would you give an upcoming wrestler get over with the fans at the rate that you did?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: I love my fans, I really do! It’s amazing that I’ve garnered so much popularity in such a short amount of time but I guess that just comes with the territory of being Astraea! My advice to upcoming wrestlers trying to get this kind of following would definitely be up on your social media game. Develop that clout. Interact with fans. Come up with some catchy sayings. Don’t get involved with pointless beef, either. Present yourself how you wanna be perceived by others.
SOFIA CLARKE: Thanks Shawnee! Caller! You’re on air!
ASTRAEA JORDAN: Hello!
Man: EY MI NOMBRE ES JUANITO DE PUERTO VALLARTA, MEXICO.
SOFIA CLARKE: English? Porfavor?
Juanito: MIRA, GRINGA, NAT EVERYBODY FRAM THE PINCHE ‘NITED STATIS OKEY?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: I know, sis, but unfortunately I’m not well versed in Spanish! English, please!
Juanito: FINE. I’LL SPEK THE “EENGLUSH” HOW MANY INCHES DAT TRENSA BRAID BE, CHICA? THAT THANG SO LONG YOU EVER HAVE YO SELF A LIL FUN WIDDIT, NAWH SAYIN’?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: Oh lord..
Juanito: LISTEN MAMI. YOU EVA HEARD OF THE POON PALACE? WANT TO MAKE SOME REAL DINERO CHICA? HOW WULD YOU FEEL WERKIN AT THE POON PALACE IF REVOLT DON’T WORK OUT FOR YA?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: I’m gonna have to pass on that offer..
SOFIA CLARKE: OK… CALLER. PLEASE.
Man: Hey, my name is Michael from smarkfart.com! Huge fan. Uhh… what are your hobbies in your free time?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: Besides giving back to my city and doing charity events, I like to – of course – work out, play with my dog, play guitar, attend concerts..and read comics. I know I don’t seem that nerdy but it’s a lowkey thing.
Man: Cool. Uhhh… What’s your prior experience in Women’s Professional Wrestling, and what do you hope to see with joining Revolt’s Division?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: I made my debut almost ten years ago now but that’s been plagued with injuries among other things so I’m missing quite a bit of experience I would’ve gotten otherwise. Not so much a rookie, but I don’t have the experience of a 10 year vet, you know? So really, I had to start from scratch a couple years back and work even harder to get here, now. I hope with the women in REVOLT we see a change. For too long, we’ve had the same few faces being..sort of the definition of women’s wrestling while there were so many others being buried and forgotten about. With a new company like REVOLT, I think people’s eyes are gonna open up again to this other world they’ve been missing out on. Sometimes you gotta look deeper for better quality, know what I mean?
Man: Okay… last one. What makes Astraea “better” than the rest? And can you please say “visit smarkfart.com!”
ASTRAEA JORDAN: Astraea is better because she has attitude, the motivation, the physical strength and the dominance that no one else does. I’ve had to jump through a hundred hoops to just get a little bit of recognition and now I got it. It won’t be wasted. It’s my time to shine and nobody is gonna stop it. Not Sienna Jade, not Ms. Extreme, nobody. And if you’re on board with that, visit smarkfart.com! BOOM!
SOFIA CLARKE: Beautifully said! Alright, I think time is up ladies and gentlemen! Thank you so much to the REVOLT universe who decided to participate in tonight’s live session. If you want to rewatch this episode you can ANY TIME on Fight Grid on any mobile device! Thank you so much for being here, Astraea.
ASTRAEA JORDAN: Thanks for having me!
SOFIA CLARKE: Any parting words?
ASTRAEA JORDAN: Astraea better. Getcha merch. I’m comin’ at you soon, and I won’t be alone. Thank you to my fans for supporting me through all of this. You’re the reason I do it. We’ve had a rough ride so far but this is a new start. Eskeetit.
SOFIA CLARKE: You are my new favorite. Check out Astraea every Saturday AND Sunday night on Rebellion and Resurgence. This is Sofia Clarke signing off… HAVE A GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!
(Sofia and Astraea hug as the camera’s fade to black as REVOLT’S logo appears.)